Everything Has a Gender

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by Lupinsgirl (I can't call it a day til I enter the zone BBS) on Thursday, 06-Sep-2007 15:55:54

Everything Has a Gender
Ziploc Bags are Male
- they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
Copiers are Female
- once turned off it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive
device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons
are pushed.
A Tire is Male - it goes bald and it is often over-inflated.
A Hot Air Balloon is Male
- to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it (of course, there's
the hot air part, too).
Sponges are Female
- they're soft, squeezable and retain water.
A Web Page is Female - it is always getting hit on.
A Subway is Male
- it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
An Hourglass is Female
- over time the weight shifts to the bottom.
A Hammer is Male
- it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it is handy to have around.
A Remote Control is Female
- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always
know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!
A Water Faucet is Female
- it can turn hot or cold in just a matter of moments.
A Safety Pin is Male - it is often useful in an emergency.
A Foreign Movie is Female
- it is not always completely understood.
A Computer is Female
- even your smallest mistakes are stored in memory.
Can you think of any more?

Post 2 by louiano (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Thursday, 06-Sep-2007 21:05:02

reasons computers must be male:
11. They often brag about how "easy" and "entertaining" the experience can be.
10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless or lost.
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. The lights are on but nobody's home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matter


Reasons why compilers mus be female
10. Picky, picky, picky.
9. They hear what you say, but not what you mean.
8. Beauty is only shell deep.
7. When you ask what's wrong, they say "nothing".
6. Can produce incorrect results with alarming speed.
5. Always turning simple statements into big productions.
4. Smalltalk is important.
3. You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong.
2. They make you take the garbage out.
1. Miss a period (dot) and they go wild

Post 3 by Musical Ambition (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Friday, 07-Sep-2007 9:17:46

LOL post one. Those are great.

Post 4 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Friday, 07-Sep-2007 20:23:43

I agree.

Also liked post 2, though it might be a bit geeky for some.

Bob

Post 5 by Emerald-Hourglass (Account disabled) on Friday, 07-Sep-2007 23:11:17

love this! lol!

Post 6 by The Elemental Dragon (queen of dragons) on Tuesday, 11-Sep-2007 9:40:11

I will never look at a computer the same way again. I think mine is somewhere between female and male but I haven't figured out why.